The End?

*headdesks XANGA*

Uh, well...  I don't use this anymore.  I don't look like I do in that picture anymore.  SO MAINLY what I am trying to say is that I have changed, so I doubt I'll use this again only if I really want to.

*steals own layout for her Gaia layout*

Two More Days

[11 Feb 2007|03:48pm]

[ music | Ayumi Hamasaki- (miss)understood ] [mood | confused] Not any better that I was before, if anyone really, truly cares. I can't talk to anyone about how I feel besides my mom and my good friend Samantha. Though I hate talking to her about it... I try to say something about how I feel; but it just goes another direction in conversation. So what is the use? No one really wants to talk to me anyway. I miss when my friends actually used to talk to me all the time. Oh well. Dir en Grey concert day after tomorrow. I was supposed to go to Britnee's today so we could figure out what we're doing? I don't know anything, really. I wish we can stay during the whole concert, though... This is going to be my last time seeing anything Japanese for a while since I'm not going to the convention this year, I guess. Unless I can find some stranger who wants to take me. Hell, I'll make a new friend that way, maybe. I want to go. But oh well, there, as well. You don't get everything you want. Anyway, I got my hair cut today. I like it, though it's not too different. And then I got a jacket for Tuesday so I won't freeze. Horray.

Trying to Update this Again... >_x

[mood | annoyed]


Sometimes I wonder why I don't have a life, and then I always figure out why. I don't go anywhere. I don't hang out with friends. I don't talk to anyone on the phone or outside of school. I don't have a job yet. I don't do anything but sleep, go on the computer, breathe, eat, sleep some more, take a shower, go to school, homework...
Boring, isn't it?

Sometimes I really wish I could do at least something every weekend. Like everyone else. Why do I have to be that one person in a million that does nothing? I am starting to get tired of it.

All I really want is to have a job, get through college, and have a life. Even though 66.6% of that can't happen now, I at least want something. I got my first credit-card of my lifetime today, and I can't even use it because I don't have a job. And I have applied to many places and no one ever calls me back; except for that one time over the summer but that was crap.

I wish High School was over so badly...

[ music | Red Hot Chili Peppers- Tell Me Baby ]

[mood |  confused]

What the heck have I done in my life to make so many people hate me? First it was Felicia a few years ago, now it's Sam and Jessica and their whole little group I am supposing. Heck, there might even be more people I don't even know that exist that loathe me.

All I do is be quiet and just go with the flow. That's how I grew up. I can't change that.

I think I let people take advantage of me. I'm too nice. If I am mean one time, people hate me.
No matter why I can't make friends. I need a personality change or something. I should be mean and rotten all the time. Not like I'm not going to miss having friends; I only have like five anyway. Two of them are on the Internet; I cherish them all.

You know what's funny? In my Vocational today, we sang a song about respect in music class...

"It's how you treat your friends. They will treat you back the same way. Friends stick to eachother 'til the end."

I don't know how true that is anymore... I try to be nice, and I mostly get that back. But a lot of times I don't. What am I doing wrong?

[mood | ditzy]

Uhm, I don't know what to type about. X_X; But I want to update this~

Le'see. Meh birthday is in 45 days. I'm excited; yaaay, I'munna be eighteen~ I'll be legal! *ded*
Not like I'm not anyway.

Yeush. I'll be starting my countdown towards it now. <3

Alsooo, rest in peace Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin. ;__; Awwah...